How do you handle losing a friendship?
It can be a lot like ending a relationship. Sometimes it feels very much like a breakup. Sometimes it happens slowly, and quietly. Sometimes it goes out with a bang that leaves hurting hearts. Actually, either way, I think it leaves hurting hearts. It hearts to lose a friend.
When someone passes away, you miss the hole. Whether it's a relative, a friend, or even a pet, the part that you mourn and where you miss them is the hole. If you did something together every Wednesday, you're going to miss them every Wednesday. If they greeted you at the door every time you arrived home, you'll mourn them every time you go home.
The same goes for the loss of a relationship. Whether a friendship blows up or fades away, you're going to miss the hole.
In my case, I find myself staring down this giant, gaping hole at least once a week, sometimes every day. My heart hurts every time.
When I tell stories, look through old photos, drive past restaurants, walk past stores or plan coffee dates. When I think about foreign travel, or put on my favourite necklace. When I do anything that makes me think of that friendship, my heart aches. Right to my very core, right in the middle of my chest. It makes me think the hole is in my own ribcage.
And I don't know how to mend the hole. In fact, I don't think it can be mended.
Perhaps, over time, the hole will slowly close up on its own. As I make new memories, take new photos and build new friendships, I will find myself staring into that hole less and less often. I will probably never forget about all the old things, but I will probably find them in my head less often. Which is okay, I think.
But how else does one deal with losing a friendship?
Especially one that disappeared so suddenly.
