Sitting on my still warm, wet car hood, in light summer rain, watching fireworks from close enough that I could hear the technicians, snuggled into my husband's arm. I kept trying to lean back and watch the light explode in the sky from a better angle, but I kept getting raindrops in my eyes. I gave up an umbrella, because my pants were so wet from the car, that the rest of me didn't see the point in staying dry. The best part, though, was the silhouette of the two newlyweds, wrapped in one blanket, under one umbrella, standing so close that they appeared to only be one person. Watching them, reminded me that we all need to just stop. Stop and remember love, family, friends, and fireworks. Stop and just enjoy. Stop worrying, stop planning, stop stressing. Enjoy the day, right until the very end, no matter what it throws at you.
So... I spent all of yesterday at a wedding of two friends of mine. It was a truly beautiful wedding, and I could not be happier for the two of them. A couple of their friends decided to put on a firework show as a wedding present, and my husband and I got to be two of the privy couple dozen people who got to go "on site" and watch from as close as the fire marshal would allow.
My husband was the sound tech, and the designated "site coordinator" which meant he had to make the ceremony-reception transition flow smoothly. Which meant we were there the night before, for the rehearsal dinner, and so he could do sound check at rehearsal. Since I was there, I helped set-up and decorate with the bridal party. Then, since I would be one of the first people there the next morning, I volunteered to usher. We were up at 8 so we could get ready, eat, and buy the last-minute things they needed from town. It all happened in a town fifteen minutes from here. So we were out there two hours before anything started, making sure everything was good-to-go, and would flow. Then I seated the guests, made sure the guest book did not go forgotten, grabbed a few things for the bridesmaids, and finally, held the doors as the bride began her aisle walk, and adjusted her train last-minute.
I snagged an empty seat, teared up a little during the ceremony, enjoyed socializing while the receiving line went on.
As soon as it emptied out, everything began again. We had to completely rearrange the church, including taking down every chair, putting up tables, and putting all the chairs out again. I stayed for a few hours, then drove back into town, picked up the meat for the barbeque reception, drove back to the wedding, and continued set-up. Mostly just arranging the food tables, and setting up drink tables. Putting out serving spoons for the dishes people brought, and making enough punch.
Then finally! The reception began. Everything from there was splendid! The food was good, the people were happy, the cake was beautiful. I fully enjoyed the reception, without doing too much work.
After it all wound down and everyone mostly left, we did one more tear-down! Everything, and I do mean everything, went away. All of the tables, chairs, leftover food, table cloths, decorations, and garbage. It took about an hour, but the entire place went back to normal. The bridal party returned, in normal clothing, with fancy hair, and we convoyed out to the firework site. After the firework show, it all was over and everyone dispersed and we went home. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful night.
Now, I've finished my play-by-play of my view of the wedding day, and now I'm going to share a few opinions. If you don't care for those, just stop reading. Haha. No, but really. I'm really going to deviate from the happy, mostly uninvolved wedding descriptions.
I realized I have a few pet peeves when it comes to weddings. Primarily, they have to do with wedding etiquette, which I'm realizing young (read: college-aged) people do not have in general.
Numero Uno: Dress like you mean it, people! I mean, come on. How hard is to put on a nice dress, brush your hair and pick a clean pair of shoes? Or, put on a pair of dress pants and a nice shirt, comb your hair, and shave your stubble? Now, I understand that maybe not everyone owns dress clothes. Why the hell not? I also understand not everyone has the money to buy nice clothes all the time, but I think that everyone can manage owning one solitary NICE outfit for the long run. I grew up pretty low-income, but we always had at least one outfit for all of us kids in a closet somewhere. Also, I understand that some people don't like wearing dresses, or refuse to wear dress pants. Suck it up. This is someone else's wedding, which they poured a lot of time, money and energy into. Just suck it up. And, I mean, work around it. You don't want to wear a dress? Have a skirt you like on hand. Or some women's dress pants. As for men, again, work around it. You can wear dress pants with a plaid collared shirt, or cargo shorts and a dress shirt. Clean jeans, short sleeved dress shirt and a tie. Seriously. So many options! You don't have to be dressed to the nines to avoid looking like you walked in off the street and bumbled upon a wedding by accident.
Pet Peeve Number Two: Complainers! If you consider my explanation of all that I helped with (which I view with a modest mind, I promise), remember that I was not asked to lift a finger ahead of time. Because I was tethered to my husband, I was there. Because I was there, I offered assistance. Perhaps because I recently had a wedding, I wanted to make everything as smooth as I could, but that's not the point... At the very end of the entire night, I heard one of the many tear-down volunteers complain about how she got "suckered in to being a wedding monkey". Yeah. Exact words. I could not believe it. A wedding monkey! She helped for maybe an hour or two, and did a few tasks. Also, she was asked, "Hey, if you're not doing anything, do you mind volunteering for a little while?" So, here's my peeve. You need to understand that you are at a wedding to make two people's day happy and memorable, and to celebrate their love. They are not going to be doing much other than enjoying their day and being happy. Sometimes, an entire wedding might be covered by hired help. Sometimes, a couple relies on their friends and family to make things work behind the scenes. Sometimes, you need to just accept that somebody needs a bit of help, and you can make something happen. And you NEED to do that WITHOUT complaining! Honestly, how hard is that? (Also, there is probably almost always someone who has done more work than you.)
And we're onto number three: People who try to take charge from those to whom it was given. Haha, that's kind of a long one, but bear with me. The bride and groom have definetly appointed someone in charge, who knows what needs to happen. That might be a wedding planner, it might be the best man or the maid-of-honor, it might be a close family member, or it might be a friend who they know will be good at that. No matter the case, there is someone who knows what is happening, what needs to happen, and who needs to make things happen. Always. That person might appoint other people, who might appoint other people. Who knows. But no matter, if you have not been appointed to do something, don't do it! There is a scheme of things, and there is a pattern, I promise. If you just reach in and muck around, chance are you'll screw things up. Don't do that! Just wait to be told, or ask if there is something you can help with, or at the very least, say, "I'm going to do this." Make sure that whoever is in charge is aware, or things may be missed, done twice, done too early, or unnecessarily done.
Okay... So, I think that's all, folks, enjoy the last month or two of wedding season!
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