#YesAllWomen

I was raised by a male-dominant, chauvinistic, pseudo-feminist father.

He'd talk like he was concerned about women's rights, but he was much more concerned with suppressing all women from succeeding, from speaking out and from being considered equals. It was very confusing for me after I moved out, because I believed that he was a feminist, or at least believed in equal rights, but as I sorted out his thoughts and beliefs, I began to see that he saw women as lesser and unworthy.

Not to divulge into my very complicated childhood and upbringing, but I needed to explain why his views had so much power for so long.

My father used to tell a story about a friend of his who would wear low cut blouses and short pencil skirts to work, and faced a lot of sexual harassment in the workplace. When she approached the boss about it, he told her that "If it's not for sale, don't advertise."

This was the mantra of sorts that I grew up with in mind when it came to dressing myself, especially for work. I would dress modestly because I didn't want men to think I was loose, or a prostitute. I would wear pants or long skirts because I didn't want to get raped.

Wait.

Let's let that sink in for a minute.

I wore certain clothes because I didn't want someone else to make a choice to abuse me, take away my rights and force me into sex. I didn't wear V-neck shirts because I was afraid that someone would rape me.

This is a concept reinforced over and over in society, but one that is highly wrong.

Here's the thing. My body is not for sale. In fact, my body is not something that can be bought. Ever. I am not an item. My personal space is not something that can be purchased.

Therefore, my body is not something that can be advertised. No matter how short my skirt or how low-cut my shirt, I am not advertising anything. No matter how much skin I am showing, I am not inviting any man to buy my body.

I will never tell any of my children this poisonous sentence. Instead, I will teach them that humans are not something to be purchased.

This all is not to say that I don't believe in dressing modestly. I like my skirts a little longer, shirts a little higher, and I love wearing boleros over anything strapless. Not because I don't want to be for sale, but because I am more confident with a little more skin covered, and I am aware that people judge everyone for anything, and the quickest way to judge someone is to look at what they're wearing. When I am with people who know me and I am comfortable with, I'll bare plenty of skin, but I work in customer service, dealing with people who don't know me all day. I want them to look at me and see my personality, which I display every day in my clothes (bright colors, happy coordination and quirky accessories).

So anyways, there's my feminist rant, and my contribution to #yesallwomen. Yes, all women are taught to fear rape. Yes, all women are told they're bodies are for sale.