Take something small or insignificant, and make it bigger than expected

I don't remember much from that time. There was a blur of activity, full of overwhelming lights, sounds and motions. I have fuzzy memories of a blinding light, and it all slowly coming into focus. I think there was just so much going on, I couldn't focus on any of it.

I remember before, though. I remember my friend, David. We used to spend lots of time together. We had so much in common. It was so easy to be with him, to talk to him. He used to know what I was going to say before I said it. I entertained ideas of being together forever, but I know now that wasn't meant to be. We used to have this favourite spot to eat. We'd walk there together, taking the long route, just to enjoy the trip. We'd spend hours there once we arrived, just chatting and enjoying the view. It was a quiet little place; one of those gems that no one knew really existed, and we liked it that way.

One time, David and I were eating there, just quietly watching the world around us, as we liked to do, and David looked at me. "Do you ever think about later?"

I was surprised. This was coming out of nowhere. "Later?"

"You know, when we're older. Do you ever think about it? What's going to happen, I mean."

"David, you know how I feel about that."

He laughed and dropped it, commenting on his food, instead.

I was so young. I hated thinking about the future. I don't anymore; I've learned, but back then, I didn't even want to think about the next day. I regret not continuing that conversation. What would he have said? What was he thinking? Did he have any idea what was really to come?

I never felt lonely when I had David. Even when he wasn't around, even when I was alone, I was never lonely. Now my life is resounding with loneliness. I'm not always alone, but even when I'm not, all the voices just echo my own loneliness back at me.

I should have done something. I think about it constantly, rehearsing every detail that I do remember, over-thinking every moment, hunting for that instant that I could have changed things. We shouldn't have taken that walk, we should have slept longer, maybe if I'd paused at some point, David would still be here with me. Maybe if I had done any little thing differently, he wouldn't have been ripped away from me. I know it's hopeless. I know there's nothing I can do about it now. He's gone. They say I need to accept that and move on, but how do you move on? How do you let go?

This morning when I woke, I could smell roses. The exact same roses we walked by that day. For a moment, I could hear his voice again. He was saying how red roses were far superior to pink roses. I laughed, and looked at the pink buds that were just beginning to bloom. I told him there was an innocence to pink roses, but he said there was a heady romance to red roses. I looked at him, and he held my eyes with his for a moment too long. I blinked and looked away. What was he saying? What was he thinking? If only I'd asked, if only he'd said, if only we hadn't kept walking!

Everything after that is just a blur. Maybe I was too caught up with what he'd said to think clearly, maybe I wouldn't have reacted in time anyways. 

There was a sudden flurry of loud sound, followed by shouting. I remember David pushing me, shoving me away from what was to come. There was more sound, but I couldn't see what was happening. I had fallen behind a rock, out of sight, but also where I couldn't see David. I realized David was still out there, so I emerged, but there was this blinding light. I made the mistake of looking straight at it, and I froze. I silently prayed they wouldn't see me. My own survival instincts kicked in, and I wasn't even worried about David for a moment. Mistake number two. The light left as quickly as it came, and my eyes adjusted. As everything came into focus, I realized David was gone. There was no trace of him anywhere. I spent as long as I could hunting for him, but there wasn't much to go on. The monsters that took him from me destroyed the area, but they didn't leave a trail for me to follow.

As time passed, I tried to accept what had happened. I withdrew into my shell, secluding myself from the world. When I started to accept it all, I slowly emerged. Everything was different then. People looked at me different, I saw things different. I realized that if David had done the same, I might never find him. I looked so different, I could only imagine how different he looked.

I still frequent all of our favourite spots, hoping maybe someday he'll show up. Maybe someday I can tell him how I feel. I can tell him that I never want to be with anyone else, that I never have wanted to be with anyone else. I'm afraid he'll see me differently though. I know I look different. I hear them whisper. They say I look so fragile, that there is a tragic beauty to me now.

They say David was taken by either experts or children, people who study us. They say he's either in a cage or under a pane of glass. They say that blinding light was a flashlight, and I was lucky they didn't take me. They're wrong though. I would have been lucky if David and I were never separated, no matter the outcome. They also say that we monarchs mate for life. I don't really think I can attest to that, but I like to think that's why I can't let go. David was supposed to be my mate. Now he's gone, and I'll never be with anyone else. I just hope David feels the same about me.